Unsure

-Andy Benavides

Unsure to pick up the phone and call you

Unsure I lay back down in bed

Unsure I stare at the clock unsure I glare

Unsure red numbers

Unsure unsure unsure unsure unsure

Unsure o’clock

Unsure I turn on the TV

Unsure I turn it off

Unsure clock minutes unsure bed unsure

Unsure I watch the light crawl out as night crawls in

Unsure with this phone in front of me

Unsure to pick it up

Unsure to dial numbers

Unsure to hear your phone ring

Just say hi and say what are you doing perhaps

Perhaps not a bad idea

Perhaps not so bad

Perhaps perhaps perhaps perhaps perhaps

Perhaps she’ll like it

Perhaps she won’t mind

Perhaps she’ll hate me

Perhaps I’m silly

Unsure I lie back down

Unsure I sit up

Unsure I lie again

Unsure I toss unsure I turn

Unsure I close my eyes

Your face

Goddamn it

Unsure perhaps unsure perhaps unsure unsure what to do perhaps perhaps

Perhaps unsure I'm uninsured perhaps unsure perhaps later unsure unsure

Perhaps perhaps perhaps I will unsure perhaps perhaps unsure unsure how

Perhaps too much perhaps unsure perhaps tomorrow perhaps perhaps

Perhaps I’ll write a shitty unsure poem perhaps

And then perhaps I’ll fall asleep unsure

Perhaps