Write five syllables
Then, write seven syllables
Then, Write five more here
(Ooga Booga Wooga Bla!
two more lines = tanka!)

Oregon Sweatshirt
They always think I'm from there
And never The Gap

Midterm Tomorrow
Possibly, I should study
Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap

You borrowed my soap
But you chose not to use it.
Really, you could have

It is Palm Sunday
Somewhere in town, church bells chime
I miss home for once.

The world confounds me
Here's an example of why:

Pit stains are the worst
Give me another noogie
And I will kill you

Leaky cottage cheese.
The refridgerator smells.
We should clean it out.

Beastie Boys are cool
Such premium white-boy rap!
AdamYauch - soooooo cute

I miss school so much
The wonder of college life
(Summer crack habit)

In a few, later,
some other time, tomorrow

My room is dirty
I meditate harder so
It will clean itself.

My friend Ben's jewish
He knows lots of things I don't
Who stole the kishkah?

Wow! Riker Two-Twelve!
Drunk fencers out the wazoo!
I love Hannah E.

Here's a crazy girl
She's writing haikus all day!
Needs a new hobby.

Veronica's nuts
And Ellen is psychotic
Good thing Jen is sane.

I mean, we're looking
down on Wayne's basement, only
that's not Wayne's basement.
--Waynes World

Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott
He lives in three-twenty-six
I lick him so much.

I won't bench press him
Unless he is tied with rope
Why must he squirm so?

a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p q

Honey roasted nuts
Are a gift from the heavens
I ate half the can.

Writing essays sucks,
Although Jen likes them very much,
Jen is a meshugenah

i will get all my work done

I want to go ski
But outside is much to wet
I need a spring sport

haikus are wondrous
tools of procrastination
I must stop writing

The ocean of sod
Separates our mortal forms
Our souls remain one

silly white string lines
separating us with twine
curse facilities

Jenn, get some help please
Seriously, think 'bout it
I am here for you
--Brad, Rock Star

what can i write, hmm
say james, do you like your life?
write that masterpiece

Bane of existence!
I go two hours each way!
New York commute blows.

To love is to hear
a Smashing Pumpkins album
Sexy riffs
, Billy!

Why do we struggle?
What do we gain from from it all?
Just to make a change.
~David Hivley

I told you no once
You would not leave me alone
I smashed your lawn gnome

I chat with the fern
Its words are so ingriguing
Am I losing it?

Alarm clock blaring
Unsatisfactory life
Disappoints each time.
~D. Friggle

I went to the cheese
Fell into one of the holes
Then it swallowed me
~Green Monkey

Is there Life on Mars?
It could be bacteria
or little green men.

i am very drunk
wish i was near a toilett
thiss really doess suck

Haikus are really fun
i just might write another
one. nah, im all done
spam is cool
on a hamburger bun
~random person

The big Ford van claims
That someone's from New Jersey.
Whoah! Cool! Lesbians.
~Some other guy

There's this net poet
He keeps sending me haikus
Please tell me your name!

'He fences so well'
Says David Hively - too bad
he's a rat bastard.

Hannah and Nina-
Coolest girls on the team - and
The only sane ones.

Ellen C. Moule
This girl's love don't cost a thing
She signs things 'E.Mo'

Haikus are so fun
But also so addictive
I must stop this...NOW!

He enters class late.
Hannah hears my voice calling.
'Cocksucker!' I say.

April's new mission
Is to be Gwen Stefani
Oooooh. I lick Gavin.

Sweet, confused Jenni -
Is this really a haiku?
Methinks it might be!

So you want to know
The name of the random guy.
Sorry, I'm not him.
~Some other guy

Apparently, though,
I'm finding it difficult
To express myself
With limited syllables.
~Some other guy again

These crazy people
Their parents didn't name them!
You all drive me nuts!

Having no name has
Certain benefits when I
Have to pay taxes.
~Some other guy

The kids in grade school
Must have found that lots of fun.
Mr. No-Name-pants!

V is a goddess
Enviable perfection
Let's all worship V
~Veronica (aka Goddess V!)

Got got in trouble
A lot when I didn't write
My name on papers.

Then I made typos.
Typed "Got" twice when I really
Intended an "I".

"Hello, I love you
Won't you please tell me your name!"
Follow their advice

I am Spartacus.
Not really, but I always
Wanted to say that.

If you're Spartacus
Then you can just call me Al
Man, I'm so witty

I just discovered
That Paul Simon songs aren't made
For haikuizing.

lots of dumb haikus

these are very stupid haikus

haikus are boring

~Daniel Cortez


If you need a life
This is not the place to be:
I collect haikus

But please, won't you stay?
It's nice to have company
Here in haiku land.

It took me a while
To think of more haikus. I
Think I am brain dead.

If you are brain dead
College is a lot harder.
Perhaps check on that?

It is fortunate,
Then, that I'm not in college.
Else I'd have issues.

Must stop signing things
"Spartacus". Earlier, I
Signed that on a check.
~ The Artist Formerly Known As Spartacus

Did not update page
Because I'm a huge loser
Forgive me, Sparty

The gentle waters
Are only gentle because
The fish, they're all dead.

That was me trying
To be all deep and zen-like.
Hmm. I think I failed.

Zen-like's relative
It is all in your head, dear
Dead fish can be deep.

Had a dream last night.
Ice cream vendor in desert.
That was kind of weird.

Suddenly, Dairy
Queen pops up. Out of business.
That's just wrong, y'know?

Dairy Queen does that
On a regular basis
In my daily life

Awake or Asleep?
You never know with Ice Cream.
It's a mad, mad world

World's going to hell
In lovely wicker basket
I bought at Krauzer's.
But then I realized that they
Don't sell them there. Hmmm.
~Spartacus (pullin' out the tanka)

I think I'm awake.
Or... I could be dreaming it.
Guess I'll never know.

what am i doing

writing this stupid haiku

life is so boring

~Daniel Cortez

Bored beyond belief,

Looking for random stuff now,

Can't find anything

~Kosst Amojan



The library's quiet
Primal Scream Therapy is
So attractive now

Xerox repair guy
He makes grad students happy
I wish I were him

I work at two jobs
one bores, the other stresses
I sit and think: "Why?"

In the library
Time never passes at all
I wrote ten haikus

At Comptuer Aide
Too many (dumb) people call
I scratch out my eyes

A million dollars
Do two chicks at the same time
Hey! Sounds good to me!

Hannah has great hair
Her bangs make the gods jealous
You go, girlfriend!

Ellen has plaid pants
She makes Telecom Boy drool
With her purple hair

Ellen's punk freshman
Didn't know it was a satire
It's Swift, you loser!

Dancing banana
I am not amused at all
I have a black soul

Me + Elan! = Study
Jimmy won't open the door
He thinks we have sex.

Wow. Thirteen haikus.
That is pretty impressive.
Compelled to add more.




I wonder if I
Can turn my cat inside out.
Might make her angry.

Stepped on modem wire.
Disconnected myself. I
Hate when that happens.


Love is the bestest

thing in the whole wide world.

Love is very cool.



But, we change topics.
Because I have no idea
What else to mumble.

Breathe, breathe in the air.
Don't be afraid to caa-aare.
Leave, but don't leave me.
Look around, choose your own ground

~Pink Floyd -- it's almost a haiku!

Look, my first Haiku

I hope that I get it right

And dont fuck it up.

~Jim Morrison.  No, Really.

Smiling, I told her
"Get the hell out of my face."
Ah, the little things.


Yeah, deepness. Well... it
Was a lot deeper when I
First thought it up. Yup.


I've got so much work
it comes out my ears and nose
Have you a tissue?

I used them to clean up when
My brain exploded.






Further reading:

Spam Haikus

Nice little text box
Implores me to write haiku
How I love haikus!

To whom shall I attribute this masterpiece? (NAME PLEASE!)

I'll post the submittals as soon as I can!